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d767468

I'm sure you've heard it a lot, first writing ever.  But it's true.  So let me know what you all think.  Is it interesting or just a rehash of other stories?  Should I just throttle my muse and go back to bed?!?!  Any and all comments are appreciated.  Thanks!
 

Title:  STILL
Author: D767468
Rating: Mild
Genre and/or Pairing:  fan fic, Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Bad writing may be ahead!??!
Word Count: 821
Summary: Not sure, you all tell me.

 

STILL
“Dean” Cas said, in that deep gravelly voice that set me quivering. “No touching”.
 
And didn’t that just make me want to touch even more!

Cas softly batted my hands away and fixed me with his intense stare. I could feel myself freezing in place, pinned by his gaze. But soon my hands started grasping at him again, across his chest, down his shirt.

“I said no. Stop moving.” Those words robbed my breath from me. Cas was denying me? How could he, when all I wanted was to feel him, to connect with him. My body urgently straining against his.

And with that Cas grabbed my wrists and placing them alongside my body, palms up on the bed, he kneeled on them. For a slight nerdy angel he was really strong. I couldn’t extract my hands from under his knees no matter how hard I tried pulling. It was almost like he was pinning me with some angel magic mojo. Now I was starting to get nervous and tried sitting up to break free. Cas’ left hand came up and forced my upper body back down onto the bed. His hand remained on my throat holding me down.

I was frozen in place. The power of the control from his hand on my throat was just too much to even try to move against. This just reinforced the truth I always suspected, that this angel was truly in control of me and my body, no matter how he allowed me the allusion of being in control other times.

I was starting to get a clenching, almost claustrophobic feeling deep down in my gut. I knew it was coming from my body’s memory of Hell. I shut my eyes as I tried forcing the rising terror back down into that little shut off, lead-lined and salted place in my head, where I buried all the memories I couldn’t face, that wouldn’t let me function as a human being if they were to break free and escape.

Again, I started squirming around trying to break free, but all it did was make me even more out of breath and sweaty from the futility. I tried rationalizing, that this is Cas, he wouldn’t hurt me, he wasn’t like the others that had used me and violated me on my little sojourn into Hell. But it wasn’t working and I could feel the horror continue to rise in ever growing waves into the back of my throat. I heard whimpering and realized that it was me making that noise. How pathetic could I be?

I could feel my body tiring and breathing was becoming even more difficult from the struggle to break free. I couldn’t keep fighting much longer. And I knew I would be forced to submit soon. The despair within me began rising to the surface again. I knew then that I had to stop myself, to do as Cas had asked. I also knew that I would be unable to do it by myself. I would need to ask Cas for help, but I found I was unable to push the air from my lungs, to put into voice the words asking for that help.  

 My panic started anew as I realized I wouldn’t be able to get Cas to hear me. I started screaming in my head, Save me, Save me, Save me, a litany of prayer offered up to the one who had rescued me from the Hell my body couldn’t forget. 

 “Look at me. Be still.”, I was commanded by his voice. Low and in control, as always. 

 I stopped moving and opened my eyes. Directly above me, looking into my face, was Cas’ brilliant blue eyes, staring down into my own eyes. His gaze was so direct and unshakeable. I found myself unable to breath from the intensity of his stare. I could feel myself drowning, slowly sinking, deep, deep, down into an ocean of the most beautiful blue. And as I sank into the depths of those blue eyes, I felt peace wash over me, and I knew I could now stop struggling. As I laid still, as the last of my breath finally left me, I knew then that I was truly saved. 

 “Now Dean. Pull it straight out.” Dean leaned across the bed at that command, and touching Sam’s chest gently, trying to be careful to not cause more damage, he pulled the barbed stinger from his brother’s stilled chest, where it had become lodged in his left lung, just millimeters from Sammy’s heart. 

 Looking at the expression on Sammy’s quieted face, he is so glad and thankful that Cas was there, to help the brothers through this latest misadventure. And from the peaceful look on Sammy’s now sleeping face, he thinks that, maybe now, Sammy will start to understand when Dean’s face reflects that same look when he stares into Cas’ eyes.


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Nice! I think seeing the "pairing" in the summary confused me, since this is more gen than slash, but overall, good work! And this was a fantastic line:

I shut my eyes as I tried forcing the rising terror back down into that little shut off, lead-lined and salted place in my head, where I buried all the memories I couldn’t face, that wouldn’t let me function as a human being if they were to break free and escape.

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